Impossible destinations. Perhaps the value of the improbable fiction or fantasy of an unattainable life is that by its very impossibility it reflects back upon what is actually possible or real and in this, as though by way of inversion, illustrates just how valuable that all-too-familar, intimate and often-enough dissatisfying world of lived experience actually is. How often we live our lives through projected and reconstructed fantasies, narratives, images, tactile impressions; how often we fabricate entire mythologies imposed upon, fabricated around reality and for this reason always find that reality to be lacking the sparkle or shine that imagination has embroidered around our ideas and the clustered, bundled concepts we have drawn across it. Being happy with whatever we have and whoever we are, in the moment and untrammelled by the adopted, absorbed, acquired and entrained aspirations or internalised perceptions and judgements of other people and of culture or of the unacknowledged 24/7 peer pressure of communications and social media – this may be one of the most difficult (and important) contemporary psychological skills to develop and refine.
I suspect many relationships fail for similar reasons regarding unrealistic expectations or unhealthy retrospective or projective mental reflections. Honesty with other people can be difficult; honesty with ourselves can prove to be impossible.