What you desire also creates anxiety (a discomfort or emotional perturbation that you may not even consciously recognise or acknowledge) and it is probably because it is in the constitutive and foundational pursuit of desire that at some level you realise that your identity, your subjectivity and internal existence is structured (as though iron filings patterned by a magnetic field) by underlying designs and motives, that you may be hardwired to sabotage your own best efforts at happiness or completion and it is in some primally self-directed sense an inescapable feature of psychological Being. You are defined essentially in some sense in posture and pursuit of that which you desire but if, in obtaining it, that entire nexus and directed energy of your self should no longer possess the distance and difference (from it’s Object) that it requires to differentiate and define itself from Other (or World), then it dissolves you and your essentially, quintessentially, fragile Ego. You desire because it is through the construction, the layering and procedural, logical sedimentation of that fantasy Other that you yourself assume reflexive reality but the attainment of your wish would simultaneously invalidate your self-definition and all assertions of personal subjectivity.

This is why most of us blunder our way through the world (at least, but not solely – emotionally) from one disaster to another. We seek that Other that is only ever going to be superficially “right” for us because at some deep level of awareness we know that our very essential nature and psychological being requires dissonance and discontinuity to continue to exist.


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