The singularly unifying property (as an aggregate sum total entropy and hyper-inflating combinatorial multiplicity) of all diverse methods, logics and schools of philosophical thought is precisely the enduring presence of the absence of unity. This is instructive as to what ontological properties reality (as much as experience or valid descriptions) might possess. If the unifying property is the absence of unifying properties, this indicates the futility of any teleologically (as endemic psychologically and culturally) reflexive project seeking closure and certainty as much as it is illustrates that the epistemological problems of self-knowledge are essentially identical to those of metaphysics; the absence beyond precisely is the absence within. With no anchor of certainty other than the inverse and proxy anchor that the absence of certainty brings, all concessions to fallibilism aside, we find that e pluribus unum is not so much a values-infused (or invoking) motto as an ontological necessity. All systems of belief, subsequently, reveal themselves as being anchored only upon themselves and the unpalatable reality here becomes, Cheshire cat smile-like, that there is none.