My experience of beauty was never one in which I felt any compulsion to own or control. I found a pure and simple fascination in the natural fact and reality that a person authentically and sincerely loved is always and already set free.
It is in only in or by recognising our own inner emotional and subjective emptiness that we reflexively recoil from the subsequent darkness we feel or perceive and attempt to own each other as a foundation upon which we might build our own selves – as though this might ever fill such an endless absence and infinitely hollow void. All possession and ownership are in this way unattainable fantasies, just as are all nations and borders or symbolic tokens of difference or comparison. A true beauty is not seen, it is felt.
I keep falling in love with beautiful places, ideas and faces but never, ever try to keep or control them – even as ideas or artefacts of imagination. I know that they can never be mine because there was never any one, singular or unproblematic stasis that was me in the first place. Letting go is the hardest thing to do but it is precisely the only possible rational response and genuinely respectful celebration of beauty in (or as) life.
I don’t think anyone else sees it this way, but that’s ok. To me – a new idea is like a beautiful person – it should be neither coveted or feared, as an absence or negation in our own mind or as a presence and concept that lies somehow and forever beyond it. The sweet intimacy of an acquiescence to eternity in these moments is just such a sincere and spiritual concession to what might be the only genuine presence of love we might ever know in this life – as a tender forgiving, a gentle forgetting and a grateful gift of unbounded freedom.
Beauty, set free from all expectation approximates to Divinity. What we set free in an Other represents a freedom we simultaneously receive. For this reason – the beautiful paradox and presence of absence is invaluable in life and mind, it is really quite simple. Do you understand this?