I have spent most of my life somewhat lost between two worlds. On the one side, a world of social existence, historical contingency and the endlessly accelerating rat race of attempting to conform to a changing rule-set and framework of normative assumptions that changes much faster than anyone can ever safely (or sanely) adapt. On the other side, a half-understood world of stars, galaxies, cosmological hyper-inflation, warping spacetime and quantum entanglement which takes an extensive and enduring personal investment of time and energy to ever even begin to comprehend. I have been learning to swim in a chaotic maelstrom of human improvisation that masquerades as competency and simultaneously find myself inhabiting a vast and boundless eternity of multidimensional, combinatorial possibility that all but invalidates any assertion of meaning in our shared (all too) human world.
Which world is more real? Neither, both – it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that, whatever partial success or failure any single one of us ever might acquire in regards to reconciling an everyday life with the infinite beyond, as a civilisation we are able to find some sustainably-continuous middle ground. In such an ontological mezzanine we might never come to any grand truth or final understanding but we could still find some way to keep this whole wild and crazy human experiment on planet Earth going for just a little while longer.
I wonder sometimes if I am really lost between these two polar opposites and – in all honesty – equally unintelligible or quite nonsensical realities or if, in fact, these worlds are somehow lost in me. I don’t suppose anyone will ever know and that’s ok; I mean, what else could we all do but just keep on dreaming the dream that gives us the utterly inexplicable and unexpected life and experience in this Universe?