There is a certain philosophical psychology of loneliness in which we might come to understand that every act of self-definition and individuation is always already the construction of that difference and distance by which we also inadvertently traumatise and emotionally isolate ourselves from each other. In orienting ourselves as “the type of person who would (or wouldn’t) X, Y or Z” or “a person who likes P but not Q” we proceed to build that scaffolding and structural foundation upon which our Self is grounded. In the very act of definition that Self finds itself catastrophically isolated from those Others upon which it depends for self-validation and nourishing, meaningful interpersonal connection.
In many ways, this self-inflected fracture of Self as against Other is only really – and in as much as Other is not to remain a purely metaphysical or unknown and unknowable quantity – a discontinuity of Self within us. The relationships we have with other people are really only reflections of the relationships we have with ourselves and every frustration and fury is really only a measure of internal dissatisfaction, every externalised affection and desire is a misplaced qualification of our own self-acceptance and compassion. Other people exist, it is true, but an enigma of Self is that while these Other entities will forever seed unexpected entropy and non-linear perceptual experiences into our minds, we are forever cocooned and at least partially constrained to see these Others through the half-mirrored labyrinth of our own conceptual projections.