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life

Trapped by Choice

Ever noticed that the more connected we all are, the more isolated we become? The more we are compelled to anchor our identities, experience and memory upon an external world, the lonelier and less certain this inner self becomes? Having once passed over the event horizon of self-accelerating sociotechnical metamorphosis we are each and all […]

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life

Monday Mornings…

It’s Monday morning and I just can’t escape the feeling of being chained to a wheel of ever-accelerating meaninglessness. The reciprocal obligations, the games, the roles, the participatory self-surveillance of endlessly hyper-inflating complexity and confusion that invents its own purposes, meanings and necessity as it rumbles blindly along. I am unsure of what it all […]

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life

Impostor Syndrome: Scholastic Edition

Finding myself waist-deep in a complex University degree at the moment and it is hard to get past constantly feeling inadequate and stupid. Ticking the boxes and walking backwards juggling flaming chainsaws through the cheese grater of institutional expectations while also working to support myself, I am utterly uncomfortable and quite disconsolate about my ability […]

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life

Environmental Inversion

It’s a little unorthodox but I suspect we deeply misunderstand the nature of living systems, long before we ever aspire to protect them from the ravages of pollution and environmental degradation. The genetically regulated phylogeny of an organism, a species and a behavioural niche are each and all inverse encodings of the environmental context they […]

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life

Transience

I’m sitting on a small bench by the sea. Dolphins peacefully fishing near the rocks below. A gentle cadence of waves addressing the shoreline filters up through the trees to a small bench. People walking their dogs. Women talking and laughing. A cool winter breeze and the hum of a small plane passing overhead. A […]

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life

Attractors

In the early evening of fading light last night I visited a local shopping complex to purchase some simple necessities. In the sky just above some apartments I saw some small birds flying, too few to flock but just enough to exist in that liminal zone of groups of 3 or 4. Single birds would […]

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life

Skipping Stones

A recent family bereavement has left me with no less questions than ever as to the essence of this human experience we all share but has necessarily shaped the form and flow as qualitative flavour of inquiry. The salience in my cartography of grief has been to discover – or, perhaps, to rediscover – that […]

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life

The End

A feeling of synchronicity. A flash of light and a howling wind. Fire, darkness, confusion. Screaming, suffering, burning, crushing and chaos. A metallic taste and cells being slowly cooked from the inside by radioactive fallout. Oblivion and forgetting. My greatest fear has always been this horror. Not because I will cease to exist although no […]

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life

The King that Fell

Imagine, if you will, a king. A mighty ruler, a keen follower of Machiavelli and thus feared much more than loved and very clever indeed. Of course, being clever is only ever measured by the breadth and depth in which intelligence is defined and this king had come to live in a half-mirrored world of […]

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life

On feeling small…

…it may be true to say that a person never feels quite as small and insignificant as when they are confronted by the grand historical ebb and flow within which they quite accidentally find themselves. I am watching developments in Europe and Ukraine and with an almost desperate sense of powerlessness and inability to effect […]

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life

Trauma

I have seen what trauma does. It can take good people and bend them backwards against their will, leading into all manner of despair and hardship. I have seen the ways that people self-define through the things they know and the suffering that has shaped them. I have witnessed as their lonely lives lead them […]

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life

All the pieces…

We spend a lot of our lives hoping for a day, a moment when all the disparate influences and troubles we face just melt away and reveal a singular resolution and shining light of clarity. We invest our feelings, our beliefs and our personal livelihoods in the dream of a better life, of a commitment […]